Where is airing: E!
For what age: 11+
How many episodes in 8 season: 51 episodes
Ted Williams - homeless man extraordinnaire - is taking over the world, but his golden voice isn't quite what it's made out to be... Brad Womack returns to The Bachelor to wrong his right of not picking a desperate fame whore to fake-marry several seasons ago... Jersey Shore kicks off its new season with the housemates discussing the works of Dostoevsky in front of a roaring fire whilst sipping some fine port, by which we mean two skanks fight each other... Paula Abdul slurs her way back into our lives with the premiere of Live to Dance... And Joel's Community co-star Yvette Nicole Brown stops by to steal Oprah's thunder, as well as her network...
The Bachelor's Brad Womack heads to the carnival and proves he's really not that much smarter than a carnie... Charlie Sheen allegedly spends the week holed up with the hard-workign women of Vegas... Jersey Shore's Deena loses to a peanut butter sandwich in the battle for sex with The Situation... The elderly duo of Bev and Hap bust a move and their pacemakers on Live to Dance... And Lucy Lawless stops by to pretend she's Kelsey Grammar while she makes love to Mankini...
American Idol debuts sans Simon Cowell, and Steven Tyler debuts sans any regard for the words creepy or inappropriate? Oprah heads Down Under to excite the Aussies, and a koala bear heads down under to excite Oprah... The Bachelor's Brad pretends to beat people up, and The Bachelor's women pretend to give a crap... Jersey Shore's J-Woww finds a way to make Snooki look like the clean one... And Suze Orman tears the Octomom a new one, which she will someday no doubt use to shoot out a baby...
American Idol continues to power through the bat-sh-t crazy auditions, and Steven Tyler continues to power through the bat-sh-t crazy voices in his head... The Bachelor's Brad Womack stops by to ask forgiveness for his horrible actions three years ago...which apparently involved hugging Joel's cat... Jersey Shore announces it will move to Italy to smush Italian women, and The Situation announces he will move downstairs so Ronnie can smush a drunken woman... RuPaul's Drag Race returns to your TV but forgets to bring its pants... And Oprah Winfrey's half-sister stops by, who evidently looks exactly like Adam Carolla...
In tonight's fresh pot of fresh pot... As Egypt devolves into a sandy hell of bloodshed and chaos, Entertainment Tonight reminds us of the poor soul who's suffering the most: Angelina Jolie... American Idol heads to Austin, Texas where the contestants inform us that they're 100% straight, even if they do 100% suck... The Bachelor's Brad Womack eliminates Ashley from the show, and The Bachelor's producers eliminate any compassion from their hearts... Bridalplasty mercifully comes to an end, society no doubt soon to follow... And Curb Your Enthusiasm's Jeff Garlin pops in to show Joel how his clothes look on a real body...
Lindsay Lohan gets charged with felony theft for stealing a-oh, who gives a crap? SHE'S WEARING A WHITE DRESS!!!... American Idol shows us a half-man half-rat who gets eliminated in half a second... The little kid who played Darth Vader in your favorite Super Bowl commercial is revealed on Today, but the man behind the mask isn't who you think he is... The Bachelor's Ali screams at a bug, which frightens Brad so much the neurons in his brain almost begin to fire... And Issues With Jane Velez Mitchell's Jane Velez Mitchell stops by to channel her inner Lohan...
Televised starvation is back in vogue as Survivor returns to the airwaves, and one castaway is already running dangerously low on saliva... Charlie Sheen gives Lindsay Lohan life advice, which has to be Lindsay's absolute rock bottom... Computers begin their inevitable takeover of mankind when Watson the Supercomputer dominates some future human slaves on Jeopardy... Gold Rush Alaska's Jack Hoffman digs deep into his glory hole for the hottest nuggets yet... And Portlandia star Fred Armisen stops by to trade some gum and significant glances with Joel...
Joel plunges into the deep end of the Charlie Sheen pool, but makes sure to cover his nose so as not to get any 'seven gram rocks' up it... Rolling Stone puts Snooki on its magazine cover, and Rolling Stone's magazine cover puts a doctor's appointment on its to-do list... Things heat up on The Bachelor between Brad and Ashley, and by heat up we mean get intensely awkward and uncomfortable... America's Next Top Model contestants scribble pictures on scrap paper and then squirt their tears at them... And Charlie Sheen releases a self-help book to teach you to be as awesomely bat-guano crazy as he is...
Celebrity Apprentice returns to your TV, as does the babbling vessel of bat shit insanity that is Gary Busey... Two and a Half Men disappears from your TV, unlike the babbling vessel of bat shit insanity that is Charlie Sheen... Entertainment Tonight airs surveillance footage of Lindsay Lohan shopping for her alleged stolen necklace, and it is far more shocking than most feeble minds can handle... The Real World heads back to Vegas for season number 25, and the recently de-virginized housemate Mike heads back to the Bible for sexual encounter number 2... And RuPaul's Drag Race says more with its crotch then it could ever say with its lips...
The Bachelor's Brad finally picks the woman he wants to marry...or at least date for a few months before he realizes a televised gameshow probably isn't the best place to find real love... American Idol's Casey Abrams performs Smells Like Teen Spirit, which makes Kurt Cobain glad he smells like rotting inactive person... Something called Rebecca Black 'sings' its way onto the Internet, which makes Kurt Cobain glad he smells like rotting inactive person... The Bad Girls Club gets a new housemate named Wilma, and Wilma's sheets get a new bedmate named urine... And Survivor's Phil shows us he's not just a former federal agent, he's also a current sleep groper...
This 'Talk Soup' variation broadens the satire to include pop culture and news stories.
This 'Talk Soup' variation broadens the satire to include pop culture and news stories.
