Two and a Half Men (2003)

Episodes release dates Two and a Half Men

Season 12

Season 11

1	Nangnangnangnang 6.1	27 september 2013, Friday 6.1
2	I Think I Banged Lucille Ball 6	4 october 2013, Friday 6
3	This Unblessed Biscuit 6.1	11 october 2013, Friday 6.1
4	Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank 6.3	18 october 2013, Friday 6.3
5	Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 6.4	25 october 2013, Friday 6.4
6	Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants 6.2	8 november 2013, Friday 6.2
7	Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie 6.5	15 november 2013, Friday 6.5
8	Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. 6.2	22 november 2013, Friday 6.2
9	Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer 6.1	6 december 2013, Friday 6.1
10	On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer! 6.4	13 december 2013, Friday 6.4
11	Tazed In the Lady Nuts 6.6	3 january 2014, Friday 6.6
12	Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball 6.3	10 january 2014, Friday 6.3
13	Bite Me, Supreme Court 6.2	31 january 2014, Friday 6.2
14	Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe 6.3	7 february 2014, Friday 6.3
15	Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin 6.2	28 february 2014, Friday 6.2
16	How to Get Rid of Alan Harper 6.6	7 march 2014, Friday 6.6
17	Welcome Home, Jake 6.6	14 march 2014, Friday 6.6
18	West Side Story 6.6	4 april 2014, Friday 6.6
19	Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang 7.1	11 april 2014, Friday 7.1
20	Lotta Delis In Little Armenia 7.1	25 april 2014, Friday 7.1
21	Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot 6.1	2 may 2014, Friday 6.1
22	Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead 6.6	9 may 2014, Friday 6.6

Season 10

1	I Changed My Mind About the Milk 6	28 september 2012, Friday 6
2	A Big Bag of Dog 6.2	5 october 2012, Friday 6.2
3	Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt 6.1	12 october 2012, Friday 6.1
4	You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For 6.5	19 october 2012, Friday 6.5
5	That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam 6.5	26 october 2012, Friday 6.5
6	Ferrets, Attack! 6	2 november 2012, Friday 6
7	Avoid the Chinese Mustard 6.3	9 november 2012, Friday 6.3
8	Something My Gynecologist Said 6.6	16 november 2012, Friday 6.6
9	I Scream When I Pee 6.9	30 november 2012, Friday 6.9
10	One Nut Johnson 7	7 december 2012, Friday 7
11	Give Santa A Tail-Hole 6.7	14 december 2012, Friday 6.7
12	Welcome to Alancrest 6.2	4 january 2013, Friday 6.2
13	Grab A Feather And Get In Line 5.6	11 january 2013, Friday 5.6
14	Run, Steven Staven! Run! 6.6	1 february 2013, Friday 6.6
15	Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It 6.8	8 february 2013, Friday 6.8
16	Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby 6.3	15 february 2013, Friday 6.3
17	Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries 6.3	22 february 2013, Friday 6.3
18	The 9:04 From Pemberton 6.4	8 march 2013, Friday 6.4
19	Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon. 6.8	15 march 2013, Friday 6.8
20	Bazinga! That's From A TV Show 6.9	5 april 2013, Friday 6.9
21	Another Night With Neil Diamond 6.2	26 april 2013, Friday 6.2
22	My Bodacious Vidalia 6.4	3 may 2013, Friday 6.4
23	Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped 6.4	10 may 2013, Friday 6.4

Season 9

1	Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 5.5	20 september 2011, Tuesday 5.5
2	People Who Love Peepholes 5.2	27 september 2011, Tuesday 5.2
3	Big Girls Don't Throw Food 5.3	4 october 2011, Tuesday 5.3
4	Nine Magic Fingers 5.6	11 october 2011, Tuesday 5.6
5	A Giant Cat Holding Churro 5.7	18 october 2011, Tuesday 5.7
6	The Squat and The Hover 5.6	25 october 2011, Tuesday 5.6
7	Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 5.8	1 november 2011, Tuesday 5.8
8	Thanks for the Intercourse 6.6	8 november 2011, Tuesday 6.6
9	Frodo's Headshots 6.4	15 november 2011, Tuesday 6.4
10	A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 6.2	22 november 2011, Tuesday 6.2
11	A Lovely Landing Strip 6.3	6 december 2011, Tuesday 6.3
12	One False Move, Zimbabwe! 5.7	13 december 2011, Tuesday 5.7
13	Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 6.6	3 january 2012, Tuesday 6.6
14	A Possum on Chemo 6.3	17 january 2012, Tuesday 6.3
15	The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack 6.4	7 february 2012, Tuesday 6.4
16	Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy 6.6	14 february 2012, Tuesday 6.6
17	Not In My Mouth 5.6	21 february 2012, Tuesday 5.6
18	The War Against Gingivitis 5.6	28 february 2012, Tuesday 5.6
19	Palmdale, Ech 6.3	20 march 2012, Tuesday 6.3
20	Grandma's Pie 6	10 april 2012, Tuesday 6
21	Mr. Hose Says \'Yes\' 6.1	17 april 2012, Tuesday 6.1
22	Why We Gave Up Women 6.3	1 may 2012, Tuesday 6.3
23	The Straw In My Donut Hole 5.7	8 may 2012, Tuesday 5.7
24	Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! 6.4	15 may 2012, Tuesday 6.4

Season 8

1	Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 8.4	21 september 2010, Tuesday 8.4
2	A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 7.9	28 september 2010, Tuesday 7.9
3	A Pudding-Filled Cactus 7.8	5 october 2010, Tuesday 7.8
4	Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 8	12 october 2010, Tuesday 8
5	The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 7.7	19 october 2010, Tuesday 7.7
6	Twanging Your Magic Clanger 8	26 october 2010, Tuesday 8
7	The Crazy Bitch Gazette 7.7	2 november 2010, Tuesday 7.7
8	Springtime On A Stick 7.7	9 november 2010, Tuesday 7.7
9	A Good Time in Central Africa 8	16 november 2010, Tuesday 8
10	Ow, Ow, Don't Stop 7.4	23 november 2010, Tuesday 7.4
11	Dead From The Waist Down 7.4	7 december 2010, Tuesday 7.4
12	Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead 7.2	14 december 2010, Tuesday 7.2
13	Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup 7.6	4 january 2011, Tuesday 7.6
14	Lookin' for Japanese Subs 7.7	18 january 2011, Tuesday 7.7
15	Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 8.1	8 february 2011, Tuesday 8.1
16	That Darn Priest 7.5	15 february 2011, Tuesday 7.5

Season 7

1	818-jklpuzo 8.1	22 september 2009, Tuesday 8.1
2	Whipped Unto the Third Generation 7.8	29 september 2009, Tuesday 7.8
3	Mmm, fish. Yum. 7.7	6 october 2009, Tuesday 7.7
4	Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 7.6	13 october 2009, Tuesday 7.6
5	For the Sake of the Child 7.6	20 october 2009, Tuesday 7.6
6	Give Me Your Thumb 7.9	3 november 2009, Tuesday 7.9
7	Untainted by Filth 7.9	10 november 2009, Tuesday 7.9
8	Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 8.6	17 november 2009, Tuesday 8.6
9	Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 7.8	24 november 2009, Tuesday 7.8
10	That's Why They Call It Ball Room 7.9	8 december 2009, Tuesday 7.9
11	Warning, It's Dirty 8	15 december 2009, Tuesday 8
12	Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 7.8	12 january 2010, Tuesday 7.8
13	Yay, No Polyps! 7.8	19 january 2010, Tuesday 7.8
14	Crude and Uncalled For 7.5	2 february 2010, Tuesday 7.5
15	Aye, Aye, Captain 7.6	9 february 2010, Tuesday 7.6
16	Tinkle Like a Princess 7.6	2 march 2010, Tuesday 7.6
17	I Found Your Moustache 7.4	9 march 2010, Tuesday 7.4
18	Ixnay on the Oggie Day 8.2	23 march 2010, Tuesday 8.2
19	Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave 7.7	13 april 2010, Tuesday 7.7
20	I Called Him Magoo 7.6	11 may 2010, Tuesday 7.6
21	Gumby with a Poke 8	18 may 2010, Tuesday 8
22	This Is Not Gonna End Well 7.8	25 may 2010, Tuesday 7.8

Season 6

1	Taterhead Is Our Love Child 7.9	23 september 2008, Tuesday 7.9
2	Pie Hole, Herb 7.7	30 september 2008, Tuesday 7.7
3	Damn You, Eggs Benedict 7.9	7 october 2008, Tuesday 7.9
4	The Flavin' and the Mavin' 7.7	14 october 2008, Tuesday 7.7
5	A Jock Strap in Hell 7.5	21 october 2008, Tuesday 7.5
6	It's Always Nazi Week 8	4 november 2008, Tuesday 8
7	Best H.O. Money Can Buy 7.9	11 november 2008, Tuesday 7.9
8	Pinocchio's Mouth 7.7	18 november 2008, Tuesday 7.7
9	The Mooch At The Boo 8.4	25 november 2008, Tuesday 8.4
10	He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 7.6	9 december 2008, Tuesday 7.6
11	The Devil's Lube 7.7	16 december 2008, Tuesday 7.7
12	Thank God for Scoliosis 8	13 january 2009, Tuesday 8
13	I Think You Offended Don 7.6	20 january 2009, Tuesday 7.6
14	David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 8	3 february 2009, Tuesday 8
15	I'd Like to Start With the Cat 7.6	10 february 2009, Tuesday 7.6
16	She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime 8.2	3 march 2009, Tuesday 8.2
17	The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 7.6	10 march 2009, Tuesday 7.6
18	My Son's Enormous Head 7.6	17 march 2009, Tuesday 7.6
19	The Two Finger Rule 8.7	31 march 2009, Tuesday 8.7
20	Hello, I'm Alan Cousteau 7.8	14 april 2009, Tuesday 7.8
21	Above Exalted Cyclops 8.1	28 april 2009, Tuesday 8.1
22	Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 7.6	5 may 2009, Tuesday 7.6
23	Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 7.7	12 may 2009, Tuesday 7.7
24	Baseball with Better Steroids 8.3	19 may 2009, Tuesday 8.3

Season 5

1	Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 7.9	25 september 2007, Tuesday 7.9
2	Media Room Slash Dungeon 7.9	2 october 2007, Tuesday 7.9
3	Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 7.8	9 october 2007, Tuesday 7.8
4	City of Great Racks 7.9	16 october 2007, Tuesday 7.9
5	Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 7.8	23 october 2007, Tuesday 7.8
6	Help Daddy Find His Toenail 7.8	30 october 2007, Tuesday 7.8
7	The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room 7.7	6 november 2007, Tuesday 7.7
8	Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 8.5	13 november 2007, Tuesday 8.5
9	Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 7.9	20 november 2007, Tuesday 7.9
10	Kinda Like Necrophilia 8	27 november 2007, Tuesday 8
11	Meander to Your Dander 8	18 march 2008, Tuesday 8
12	A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 7.8	25 march 2008, Tuesday 7.8
13	The Soil is Moist 8.1	1 april 2008, Tuesday 8.1
14	Winky-Dink Time 8	15 april 2008, Tuesday 8
15	Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle) 7.8	22 april 2008, Tuesday 7.8
16	Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty 7.9	29 april 2008, Tuesday 7.9
17	Fish in a Drawer 8.6	6 may 2008, Tuesday 8.6
18	If My Hole Could Talk 7.7	13 may 2008, Tuesday 7.7
19	Waiting for the Right Snapper 7.8	20 may 2008, Tuesday 7.8

Season 4

1	Working for Caligula 7.6	19 september 2006, Tuesday 7.6
2	Who's Vod Kanockers? 7.8	26 september 2006, Tuesday 7.8
3	The Sea is a Harsh Mistress 7.6	3 october 2006, Tuesday 7.6
4	A Pot Smoking Monkey 7.5	10 october 2006, Tuesday 7.5
5	A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 7.8	17 october 2006, Tuesday 7.8
6	Apologies for the Frivolity 8.3	24 october 2006, Tuesday 8.3
7	Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 7.9	7 november 2006, Tuesday 7.9
8	Release the Dogs 8	14 november 2006, Tuesday 8
9	Corey's Been Dead For an Hour 7.7	21 november 2006, Tuesday 7.7
10	Kissing Abraham Lincoln 7.7	28 november 2006, Tuesday 7.7
11	Walnuts and Demerol 8.6	12 december 2006, Tuesday 8.6
12	Castrating Sheep in Montana 7.6	9 january 2007, Tuesday 7.6
13	Don't Worry, Speed Racer 7.6	23 january 2007, Tuesday 7.6
14	That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 7.7	6 february 2007, Tuesday 7.7
15	My Damn Stalker 7.8	13 february 2007, Tuesday 7.8
16	Young People Have Phlegm Too 7.7	20 february 2007, Tuesday 7.7
17	I Merely Slept With a Commie 7.6	27 february 2007, Tuesday 7.6
18	It Never Rains in Hooterville 7.6	20 march 2007, Tuesday 7.6
19	Smooth as a Ken Doll 8.1	10 april 2007, Tuesday 8.1
20	Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 8.2	17 april 2007, Tuesday 8.2
21	Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 7.8	24 april 2007, Tuesday 7.8
22	Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 7.7	1 may 2007, Tuesday 7.7
23	Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin 8	8 may 2007, Tuesday 8
24	Prostitutes and Gelato 8.2	15 may 2007, Tuesday 8.2

Season 3

1	Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 7.9	20 september 2005, Tuesday 7.9
2	Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 8.2	27 september 2005, Tuesday 8.2
3	Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 7.8	4 october 2005, Tuesday 7.8
4	Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 7.8	11 october 2005, Tuesday 7.8
5	We Called It Mr. Pinky 7.8	18 october 2005, Tuesday 7.8
6	Hi, Mr. Horned One 8.4	25 october 2005, Tuesday 8.4
7	Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 7.9	8 november 2005, Tuesday 7.9
8	That Voodoo That I Do Do 8.3	15 november 2005, Tuesday 8.3
9	Madame and Her Special Friend 8	22 november 2005, Tuesday 8
10	Something Salted and Twisted 7.6	29 november 2005, Tuesday 7.6
11	Santa's Village of the Damned 8.3	20 december 2005, Tuesday 8.3
12	That Special Tug 8	10 january 2006, Tuesday 8
13	Humiliation is a Visual Medium 7.6	24 january 2006, Tuesday 7.6
14	Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 8.2	7 february 2006, Tuesday 8.2
15	My Tongue is Meat 7.8	28 february 2006, Tuesday 7.8
16	Ergo, The Booty Call 8.4	7 march 2006, Tuesday 8.4
17	The Unfortunate Little Schnauser 7.5	14 march 2006, Tuesday 7.5
18	The Spit-Covered Cobbler 7.7	21 march 2006, Tuesday 7.7
19	Golly Moses, She's A Muffin 7.9	11 april 2006, Tuesday 7.9
20	Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 8.3	25 april 2006, Tuesday 8.3
21	And the Plot Moistens 7.8	2 may 2006, Tuesday 7.8
22	Just Once With Aunt Sophie 7.9	9 may 2006, Tuesday 7.9
23	Arguments for the Quickie 7.7	16 may 2006, Tuesday 7.7
24	That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 8.1	23 may 2006, Tuesday 8.1

Season 2

1	Back Off Mary Poppins 7.9	21 september 2004, Tuesday 7.9
2	Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 7.6	28 september 2004, Tuesday 7.6
3	A Bag Full of Jawea 8	5 october 2004, Tuesday 8
4	Go Get Mommy's Bra 7.9	12 october 2004, Tuesday 7.9
5	Bad News from the Clinic 7.6	19 october 2004, Tuesday 7.6
6	The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 7.8	26 october 2004, Tuesday 7.8
7	A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 7.3	9 november 2004, Tuesday 7.3
8	Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 8	16 november 2004, Tuesday 8
9	Yes, Monsignor 7.8	23 november 2004, Tuesday 7.8
10	The Salmon Under My Sweater 8	30 november 2004, Tuesday 8
11	Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 8	14 december 2004, Tuesday 8
12	A Lungful of Alan 8	4 january 2005, Tuesday 8
13	Zejdz z Moich Wlosw [a.k.a. Get Off My Hair] 8.2	18 january 2005, Tuesday 8.2
14	Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 7.7	1 february 2005, Tuesday 7.7
15	Smell the Umbrella Stand 7.9	8 february 2005, Tuesday 7.9
16	Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? 8.2	15 february 2005, Tuesday 8.2
17	Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! 7.9	22 february 2005, Tuesday 7.9
18	It Was Mame, Mom 8.1	8 march 2005, Tuesday 8.1
19	A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 7.8	22 march 2005, Tuesday 7.8
20	I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 7.7	19 april 2005, Tuesday 7.7
21	A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 7.8	3 may 2005, Tuesday 7.8
22	That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 7.6	10 may 2005, Tuesday 7.6
23	Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 8.7	17 may 2005, Tuesday 8.7
24	Does This Smell Funny to You? 8.3	24 may 2005, Tuesday 8.3

Season 1