How many episodes in 9 season: 74 episodes
Guest: Ralph Nader (Independent Presidential Candidate; Author, The Good Fight) Segments: Indecision 2004 (Kerry Names Edwards as Running Mate) Saddam Hussein in Courta You, Your Health & You (The Leeches Are Back!, First Aphrodisiac Pill for Women Tested on Lab Rats)
Guest: Will Ferrell (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy) Segments: Kerry and Edwards' Appearance Together Samantha Bee (Anti-Michael Moore Film)
Guest: Christina Applegate (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy) Segments: Tom Ridge Talks Of A New Terror Threat, A Day After Kerry Names His Running Mate Former Enron CEO Ken Lay Turns Himself In Mess O' Potamia (Military Plans to Call Up Soldiers Who Left Service, Including Army Musicians Iraqi Prime Minister Signs Bill Allowing Government to Declare Martial Law in Event of Emergency) Mark Your Calendar w Samantha Bee (Canada Day, Baseball All-Star Game, DNC, Soap Box Derby)
Guest: Wolf Blitzer (CNN) Segments: Indecision 2004 (Whoopi Goldberg Remarks Anger Sen. Lindsey Graham, Kerry on Bike) Bob Wiltfong (Women Arrested by Federal Agents for Leaving Packet of Marsmallows in Park) Senate Intelligence Committee Report Says Errors Were Made by CIA on Pre-War Intelligence)
Guest: Sarah Vowell (Author, The Partly Cloudy Patriot) Segments: Magazine Covers on Mary-Kate Olsen Senate Republicans on Gay Marriage Rob Corddry (Former Congressman Tries Raising Funds for Counter-Clinton Library) NASA Probe Begins Exploration of Saturn
Guest: Sacha Baron Cohen (Da Ali G Show) Segments: Slim-Fast Drops Whoopi Goldberg As A Spokesman After Her Comments About Bush Indecision 2004 (Preparations for the DNC) Ed Helms (City of Boston Designate Free Speech Zone for Protesters) Kerry & Edwards Are "Out Of The Mainstream" According To News Media
Democratic National Convention, Day 1 Guest: Gov. Bill Richardson (D-NM; Permanent Chair, DNC) Segments: Stephen Colbert (Primemory Lane) Al Gore, Jimmy Carter & Bill Clinton Speeches ... and Dance Party! Rob Corddry's Boston
Democratic National Convention, Day 2 Guest: Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) Segments: Ron Reagan, Jr. Gives Speech on Stem Cell Research Maya Angelou & Howard Dean Speeches Rising Star Barack Obama Gives Passionate Speech Kerry's Wife Demonstrates Language Shugs The Humble Origins
Guest: No Guest Segments: Stephen Colbert Reports from Convention Floor John Edwards Speech "John Kerry: He's Not George W. Bush" Dennis Kucinich and Jennifer Granholm Speeches Rev. Al Sharpton Goes Off-Script, News Media Bashes Him "Partisan Politics" at the Convention
Guest: No Guest Segments: Stephen Colbert (Last Day of the Convention) Biden's Slip of the Tongue Kerry Girls Tell Weird Stories Kerry Speech Correspondent Wrap-Up Back in Black (Now That's What I Don't Call Music)
Guest: Rep. Henry Bonilla (R-TX) Segments: Just After The DNC, Homeland Security Informs Public of an "Unusually Specific Information About Where Al-Qaeda Would Like To Attack" Indecision 2004 (Bush Says About Jobs, Terror, "Results Matter" Bush Uses The Phrase "We're Turning The Corner" 23 Times in 5 Speeches) Kerry's Strong(!) Answer To Bush) Samantha Bee (Ed Heeney, The Friendly Republican ...against Gays) Maritime Salvage Update (World War II Era German Submarine Discovered)
Guest: Spike Lee (Director, She Hate Me) Segments: Bush Ask Congress To Create The Position "National Intelligence Director" Kerry: "We Need Leadership, Not Followship" Statue Of Liberty Reopens For First Time Since 9/11 ...with Extreme Security Checks Jon Interviews Tom Brokaw Stephen Colbert (Last Day of the Convention) (repeat from July 30, 2004)
Guest: Aaron Eckhart (Suspect Zero) Segments: Bush and Kerry Both in Davenport, Iowa ...And Three Banks Get Robbed! Oil Hits Record Price SEC Fines Halliburton, Cheney Not Implicated Cheney Blames Kerry and Edwards for National Energy Policy Not Passing Senate RNC Required Audience Members in Cheney Rally To Sign Oath of Loyalty to Bush-Cheney '04 Before Being Allowed In Mark Your Calendar w Samantha Bee (Signing of DoI & Voting Rights Act; Fall of Rome, Aztecs & Inkas; State Fairs; RNC; Burning Man Festival)
Guest: Natalie Portman (Garden State) Segments: Tiger Gets Loose From Circus, Beetles Invade, and Child Attacked by Helper Monkey, All in New York City Bob Wiltfong (Strip Clubs Overbooked during Republican National Convention) Back in Black (Moore Show Fahrenheit 9/11 in Crawford, TX Parking Lot Alabama Judge Who Refused to Remove 10 Commandments, Takes It On Tour Robbie Knievel Jumps Over Row of Fighter-Planes)
Guest: Pres. Bill Clinton (Author, My Life) Segments: Swift Boat Veterans Attack Kerry Stephen Colbert (Minorities In The Democratic Party)
Guest: Maureen Dowd (Author, Bushworld) Segments: Novak Defends "Veterans Against Kerry" Indecision 2004 (Kerry in Missouri, Bush on Outdoor Life Network) Republican Party Declares Alan Keyes, A Maryland Resident, To Run Against Obama Digital Watch w Ed Helms (Cell Phone Games & Ringtones)
Guest: Tom Cruise (Collateral) Segments: Porter Goss Appointed as Head of CIA Las Vegas Police Reportedly Ignored Warning by FBI About Al-Qaeda Being in Town Ed Helms (Republicans Try To Get Nader On Ballot to Help Bush) This Week in God w Stephen Colbert (Pope Releases Negative Document on Feminism, Mecca Cola on Shelves, Chris Noth Named Unofficial Tourism Ambassador)
Guest: Bryan Keefer (Co-Author, All The President's Spin) Segments: New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey Resigns, Declaring He's Gay and Had an Extramarital Affair Kerry Not Clear On Whether He Would Have Voted For The War Had He Known What He Knows Now Cheney Bashes Kerry on His Promise of a More "Sensitive" War on Terror Mess O' Potamia (Coalition Forces Trying to Capture Al-Sadr, Iraqi Government Shuts Down Baghdad Offices of Al-Jazeera For A Month, Claiming Network Was Inciting Violence) Bush Uses The Word "Sensitive", The Day After Kerry Does Back in Black (L.A. Based "Fear Factor"-Type Reality Show Gives Illegal Immigrants Chance at Green Card)
Guest: Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN; Deputy Co-Chair, RNC) Segments: NJ Governor Resignation Rob Corddry (Don't Mess With "Don't Mess With Texas")
Guest: Burt Reynolds (Without A Paddle) Segments: George W & Laura Bush Attacks Stem Cell Research Proponents Ed Helms (Arizona State Legislator Wants To Allow Guns In Bars) (repeat from May 12, 2004) Archaeologists Believe They Have Excavated The Site Of Baptisms Performed by John The Baptist
Guest: Seth Green (Without A Paddle) Segments: Indecision 2004 (New York Mayor Announces Discounts for "Peaceful Protesters", FBI Questions Anarchist Who Put Diagrams of Rail Tunnels and Gas Lines Leading to MSG on Internet, Woman's House Denied of Porch Chat with Kerry because of "Too Many Registered Republicans" in Neighborhood, Crowd in Bush Rally Coached by Staffers) Back in Black (Iranian Judoka Drops Out Citing He Won't Fight An Israeli, Bush Democracy Ad, Events Poorly Attended In Olympics)
Guest: Robert Smith (Author, The Rest Of The Iceberg) Segments: Indecision 2004: Flashback Edition (Kerry's Military Record) Painting "The Scream" Stolen
Guest: Sen. John Kerry (D-MA; Presidential Candidate) Segments: Chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee Defends Decisions on "Face The Nation" Stephen Colbert (Gas Station Lowers Price of Gas by 30 Cents)
Guest: Ed Gillespie (Chairman, Republican National Committee) Segments: RNC Protesters Not Allowed in Central Park Samantha Bee (Man with Broken Sewage Line Takes Dump in City Hall Everyday in Protest) Back in Black (New York City Prepares For The RNC)
Republican National Convention, Day 1 Guest: Ted Koppel (Anchor, Nightline) Segments: McCain Bashes Michael Moore Giuliani's "September 11th"idis Stephen Colbert (Why The GOP Chose New York)
Guest: Dan Bartlett (White House Communications Director) Segments: Schwarzenegger Speech Laura Bush Speech George Prescott Bush Speech Minorities at the RNC The Daily Show's Sneak Preview of the RNC "War On Terror" Movie
Guest: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) Segments: Lynn Cheney on "Dick" Dick Cheney Praises Soldiers Democratic Senator Zell Miller Blasts Kerry, Then Goes on MSNBC and Says He Wishes He Could Challenge Chris Matthews To A Duel Ed Helms & Samantha Bee (The Administration's Handling Of The Media at the RNC)
Republican National Convention, Day 4 Guest: Chris Matthews (Anchor, MSNBC's Hardball) Segments: Stephen Colbert Report From The Convention Floor Pataki Speech Bush Video Bush Speech Rob Corddry (A Look Back At The Convention) Back in Black (Protests in New York City)
Guest: Drew Barrymore (Producer & Director, The Best Place To Start) Segments: Man In Batman Costume Climbs Buckingham Palace In Protest Indecision 2004 (Documents Reveal Bush Received Special Treatment During Vietnam, Dan Rather Does Not Want Validity of Documents Questioned, Robert Novak Calls Documents Fake) Ed Helms (Web Site Offers Online Divorce)
Guest: Pat Buchanan (Author, Where The Right Went Wrong) Segments: Oprah Gives Everyone In Her Studio Audience A Car Ban On Assault Weapons Allowed To Expire Back in Black ("Patriot Day" Specials on Internet)
Guest: Alec Baldwin (The Last Shot) Segments: Mess O' Potamia (Some Cities In Iraq Too Dangerous For U.S. Troops To Enter) Rumsfeld Confuses Saddam and Bin Laden U.N. Chief Weapons Inspector Concludes There Is No Evidence Saddam Ever Developed Unpiloted Drones Ed Helms ("Cooters" Festival Receives Criticism For Its Name) Four New Planets Discovered Close To Solar System "Genesis" Returns To Earth
Guest: Gwyneth Paltrow (Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow) Segments: Hurricane Ivan Hits Alabama Indecision 2004 (Bush Documents at CBS Under Scrutiny while Bush Speaks To National Guard in Las Vegas) This Week in God w Stephen Colbert (Child's First Communion Declared Invalid Because Her Special Gluten-Free Wafer Did Not Contain Wheat, Jerry Falwell's University To Open Law School, Ellen DeGeneres To Play God in "Oh, God!" Remake, Controversial "Jews for Jesus" Radio Ad) This Week in Justice (First Lesbian Divorce in Canada, Bid to Decriminalize Prostitution in Berkeley, Necrophilia Banned in California, Audio Recording Reveals Anti Gay Marriage Republican Congressman Is Gay)
Messopotamia Iraqi tourism board Soldiers who refused to go on "suicide mission" Bush saying that we will "not have an all volunteer army" and then being corrected by someone in the crowd. Marisa Tomei
Segments: -Coverage of John Ashcroft's resignation -Ed Helms reports on a "retarded" voter on Florida. Guest: Author Tom Wolfe Tom Wolfe talks about his newest novel.
Segments -Coverage of Yasser Arafat's passing -Rob Corddry reports on a luxery resort that offers an anti - terrorism training course. Guest: Kenneth Pollack Jon talks to Kenneth Pollack, author of "The Persian Puzzle," about Iran.
Segments: -Coverage of Cabinet Resignations -Rob Corddry reports on three publishers fighting over the right to publish South Jersey magazine Guest: News Anchor Tom Brokaw
TONIGHT: Jon speaks with Thomas Frank, author of "What's the Matter with Kansas?"
Segments: -Coverage of Clinton Presidential Library Opening -Ed Helms reports on marijuana users tricked into registering into the Republican party. Guest: Actor Woody Harrelson
